It can be really tough being a woman. Yes, that is a massive over-generalization, but at the same time it is what most of us feel when going through normal life. Everyone has a different size and shape and, whilst sometimes we can help what we weigh, other times there are a million other reasons why some of us may be bigger than others. However, what has not really been helping has been the massive stigma towards larger ladies. Not only is it detrimental to their self-esteem and body image, but it may lead to even more binge-eating and unhealthy habits. So, let’s jump into this rabbit hole and figure out why so many people hold such negative views about a woman’s body and weight.
The Fear is Real
According to the Daily Mail “no matter how much weight you’ve lost, your friends still think of you as fat.” One of the biggest threats to our nation nowadays is honestly obesity, especially when it is caused by over-eating and an unhealthy diet. However, even if you do kick this habit, then you will find that people will still treat you as if you still carry the weight. A recent study from the NHS actually showed the people who had slimmed down were still treated like they were less-attractive than other women. So, this proves that the stigma that is caused by obesity is still there even when a woman’s weight is changed. Why is that?
Well, it might be because we see our own fears embodied in larger people, especially slimmer women when they look at more full-bodied women. Health risks, such as diabetes and heart attacks, are more prevalient in those who suffer from obesity. Not only that but the negative attention these people get may instantly turn away those who are interested in them. We see our fears in their bodies and so treat them differently or just flat out try to ignore them and isolate them. Internally we know this is wrong but we still do this.
Just not attraction
Well, think about it, sometimes it’s not really about size. Instead it’s just about what we are sexually and emotionally attracted to. For instance, some people may be attracted to hot Chelsea escorts, others may prefer a chilled out gamer girl. We all have different interest and kinks when it comes to finding the perfect partner. Some people are interested in larger partners whilst overs are simply not interested. It’s important to realise that this disinterest is not actually a fat stigma. Instead, it is just someone’s personal preferences. Unless someone is outright insulting you about your weight, remember that sometimes its solely about sexual preference and attraction. Don’t mistake the two together.
However, on the other side, keep in mind that some people invert this phobia into a sexual kink. If this kink is mutual (such as through a feeder and feedee relationship) then it is fine, but if you find that people are sexualising your weight through derogatory phrases that you don’t like or are comfortable with then you should speak up about it. This may not be fat phobia but it may result in feeling like you are being objectified for yourself. You deserve to be seen like a person rather than just a sexual object.
Now, there’s a reason why people are trying to push through a law that enforces photographers to disclose if a model has been photoshopped or not. It is because seeing photoshopped models on a magazine cover can give a young woman unrealistic expectations about what her body should look like. However, this may cause her to stop eating or develop an eating disorder. This can have extremely negative effects on the body, especially if she is still growing. Bodies come in many shapes and sizes. However, as magazines and media are interested in selling their products, they focus mainly on the ideal shape that will appeal to both men and women. Whilst they mainly do this to increase their business, it is inherently fatphobic and can do a lot of damage.
Okay, so if you are an oversized woman, one of the most nerve-wracking experiences can be to go on public transport. Now, people aren’t fat-phobic by nature. A lot of them just don’t like their personal space being impeached. However, that doesn’t take away from the sense of shame or fear during the busier times. You are scared that you are taking up so much room that you will ultimately become a burden or have other people start to mock you for your size. Well, not everyone is like this. If it does happen to you then it is important to stand up for yourself. You have a right to be seen in public, or to go on public transport, just like everyone else.
Fatphobia is a real problem
It can be hard to live in a society that doesn’t appreciate that every woman at any size is like a goddess. No one is the same and it’s important to appreciate that there never really is going to be the perfect size. That’s why the concept of beauty has changed throughout time and culture. If you are a bigger woman, don’t feel ashamed of yourself. It’s time for you to stand up for your rights. Be proud of who you are and don’t let any tell you otherwise!